Lala’s Dark Past: Vegan Supersize Me Challenge

Scandal!  Photos of Lala emerge after a Vegan Supersize Me Challenge she participated in four years ago.

As fans already know, Lala started dedicating her life to avoiding fleshy food at 15 years old.  Since then, she has dabbled in veganism, and even attended the above vegan challenge.  The challenge took place in Viña del Mar, Chile where the artist was exiled for one year.  The rules of this challenge are simple.  You have a group of individuals and everyday for one week, you have to eat vegan.  But here’s the catch:  Every time someone finds something on a menu that is vegan, he/she can make another eat it.  If one denies food, he/she is out of the running.  Therefore, teams spend the year preparing, finding all vegan-option restaurants in the area in order to conveniently pass by with competitors.

Apparently, Lala lost this challenge.  She did not even make it to the top ten.  Rumors have it, the artist has fallen off the wagon since these pictures were released, too depressed to eat anything resembling a vegetable.  When reporters asked about her vegan or veggie status earlier this week, she responded, “Let’s just say I’m a good vegetarian, but a really bad vegan, okay?!”

Still no Lala to be seen, but rumors have it she is back in Paris, and has actually locked herself into her house since the release of the photos.  Others think she is working on a new series, and that is why she refuses to leave.  Based on a Fact will keep you posted on Lala’s endeavours.

Based on a Fact, Laura Johns, Connecticut Institute for the Blind

Neighbors Complain

On Tuesday morning, a noise complaint was reported to the local authorities in department 94, a section right outside of Paris.

Outside Lala’s Residence

The report described animal noises and frequent yelling coming from the inside of a typically inconspicuous studio apartment.  The confirmed neighbor of Lala Drona, Johan Sylvain, was the alleged rat to the 94 authorities.  “As a community we decided enough is enough,” Sylvain describes the disturbing behavior and lifestyle of his eccentric neighbor.  “It’s always disgusting outside her apartment.  Our community constantly smells like aerosol, and loud animal noises have been coming from the apartment.  She’s an absolute savage.”  Lala was suspected of participating in the recent Animal Activist Zoo jailbreak in Paris this last week, but she was cleared of all allegations.  Some neighbors have reported the animal noises to the zoo authorities while others suggest the noises reveal a much more provocative nightlife.

Due to Lala’s failure to keep a low profile, sources have finally confirmed Lala’s exact where-abouts.

Lala Ironing Clothes

Will this compromise her supposed projects in France?  Will she re-relocate?  Rumors from an unconfirmed source leak that Lala intends to attend l’Ecole National Supérieure des Beaux-Arts (The National Fine Arts School in Paris).  Fans begin to question if Lala is selling out to join the high society “bourgeois voltures” she always spoke out against.   Some suspect that Lala’s rumored application to the national art school to be an attempt to infiltrate the implied adversary.  We’re still fishing for stories in order to bring them to you first.  Keep up with our weekly scoop on Lala Drona, here on:

Based on a fact