The Lala Laboratory

Since the muse crisis, quality undocumented muses have been hard to come by.  Lala continues to refuse documented muse services and is rumored to have had bad luck with recent undocumented musework.  In a drought of inspiration, what is an artist to do?

Lala has kicked off the construction of her new Laboratory called The Lala Lab.  Here, she hopes to create a workshop for visiting artists which includes lodging for both muses and artists in residence.  The laboratory will be sectioned into two parts: one side for the muses, and the other for artists.  Selected Drones will be invited for residency in the Drone Location Research Program.

Lala on phone complaining about the misspelling of her “Drone Location” sign.

“The Laboratory will be a space of research and creation, as well as experimentation,” states Pauline Sager, Lala’s new publicist.  Lala’s team has been wheeling and dealing donors left and right to get the project off the ground (its estimated cost to be well into the hundreds of thousands of euros).  So why is Lala pouring every last penny into a dangerously fruitless endeavor?

Liza Laurence, a journalist for the L.D. Times ran into Lala in the Paris subway last week.  “When I asked (Lala) what her next move would be, she said, ‘I’ve completely drained myself of my own ideas.  That’s why I have always stolen them from others.’  She wrote something down in a notebook and looked up. ‘My muse is gone, and he took my right brain with him.  Time to use the ideas stored on the left side.’”

The strange thing is, Lala seems to be denying muses and adopting artists.  In the past few months, she has been scouted by ZP Productions, and asked to do a series of collaboration pieces with another artist under the pseudonym Midnight 30.  ZP Productions (who is also helping finance the Lala Laboratory) is a company that links artists together in order to create unique series of art.  Hard at work, Lala is also co-writing a performance theater piece titled Art Show with friend Dean James Lovett who commented briefly on the collaboration.  “Lala and I are pretty much on the same track. We’ve just had a meeting, and there is serious potential.”

Is Lala teaming up with other artists in an attempt to overcome muse dependency?  If this is the case, she may be committing an age-old artistic faux pas.  Never use an artist as a muse.  There is an understanding in the community that one is either a muse or an artist, but never both.  Is Lala challenging this conception?  Or is she simply flailing, desperate to feed herself with stolen inspiration wherever she can find it?  Keep checking back to see what else this artist has got hiding up her sleeve.

Based on a Fact

Collin Gerald, 20 Student 

Lala’s Dark Past: Vegan Supersize Me Challenge

Scandal!  Photos of Lala emerge after a Vegan Supersize Me Challenge she participated in four years ago.

As fans already know, Lala started dedicating her life to avoiding fleshy food at 15 years old.  Since then, she has dabbled in veganism, and even attended the above vegan challenge.  The challenge took place in Viña del Mar, Chile where the artist was exiled for one year.  The rules of this challenge are simple.  You have a group of individuals and everyday for one week, you have to eat vegan.  But here’s the catch:  Every time someone finds something on a menu that is vegan, he/she can make another eat it.  If one denies food, he/she is out of the running.  Therefore, teams spend the year preparing, finding all vegan-option restaurants in the area in order to conveniently pass by with competitors.

Apparently, Lala lost this challenge.  She did not even make it to the top ten.  Rumors have it, the artist has fallen off the wagon since these pictures were released, too depressed to eat anything resembling a vegetable.  When reporters asked about her vegan or veggie status earlier this week, she responded, “Let’s just say I’m a good vegetarian, but a really bad vegan, okay?!”

Still no Lala to be seen, but rumors have it she is back in Paris, and has actually locked herself into her house since the release of the photos.  Others think she is working on a new series, and that is why she refuses to leave.  Based on a Fact will keep you posted on Lala’s endeavours.

Based on a Fact, Laura Johns, Connecticut Institute for the Blind