Exposed!: Lala’s maltreatment of muses

A plague of uninspired and unproductive artists has spread among the art community since the muse strike some weeks ago.  The strike successful on the side of the muses, as now according to the law, muses must be financially compensated for their work.  Large cities everywhere have given birth to new muse service companies, as the new market skyrockets the economy.

One of the many muse service companies emerging in cities everywhere.

The strike has given voice to this once (and still in many ways) oppressed group, resulting in a new Muse awareness that is sweeping the globe.  Many muses are now surfacing with stories of exploitation under the tyranny of their artists.  One of the most foul examples of muse abuse to count was by our very own, Lala Drona.  Based on a Fact interviewed her ex-muse who decided to let it all go:

BOAF: So tell us about your experience in the “retreat” Lala brought you to.

M:  The first few days were fine.  Lala was very welcoming, and we mostly just talked.  I ran some errands for her, and mused her whenever she asked.  But after a while, things started becoming strange.

BOAF:  Please, go on.

M: Well, she started working me really hard, liking my ideas and needing more all the time.  She asked me for massages and other favors frequently. I was sleep-deprived for days and she didn’t let me eat unless I gave her the “right” ideas.  I kept up the work because I knew this job opens a lot of doors.  I could have been set for life if I inspired the right piece for her.

BOAF:  And did you inspire the right piece?

M: Yes, I did.  I inspired all of her most recognized pieces, but was not given credit or compensation for any of them.  I should have had a big pay-out, especially according to the type of practices I succumbed to.

BOAF:  Please, tell us about the practices Lala subjected you to.

M: I remember the interrogation room.   I was interrogated to see if I would give up any Lala secrets.  I was tortured using Chinese military brainwashing techniques.  They drugged me during these cycles of psychological torment.

BOAF:  And were you drugged at any other moment during your time at the retreat?

M: There were experiments where I, and I believe, other muses were drugged.  In these memories, I just remember flashes of images, a round white rooms, paint, a cake, and other bodies.  The artists watched from windows above.  I prefer to keep these secrets buried in the subconscious.

BOAF:  Anything else you’d like to say about Lala?

M:  Yes.  Many ex-muses of hers defend her unconventional artistic practices, claiming to be her vessel, at all costs.  But I will stand and say no to modern day slavery of my brothers and sisters.

 

Based on a Fact hits have plummeted as Drones everywhere have been giving up on Lala since recent accusations.  Her recent visits to Berlin and Milan have turned out to be a desperate attempt to find a new muse.  Allegedly, like many other artists, she refuses to use a muse service and continues to search for muse-work off the books.  Perhaps to protect her privacy, or perhaps to get a tax break.  Maybe she just strives to conserve the non-institutionalized practice of the Muse, to keep her process more organic.  Whatever the case, she must find someone soon before her tarnished image catches up to the rest of the world.

LEAKED: Lala, cheerleader gone bad.

Hot off the presses, Lala’s dark past reveals itself to be a little bit brighter than described by the sought-after artist.  Based on a Fact has just received information that may undermine her rebel tortured artist image.  Photos have emerged from Lala’s childhood activities, displaying young Drona participating in gymnastics, dance, martial arts, and bird watching amongst many other pastimes.  However, the most unexpected of all, the one thing that could possibly demolish the artist’s career is that Lala Drona was a cheerleader.

Based on a Fact caught up with the artist for a quote and she denied all allegations.  However, Lala has recently created an after-school program which brings elementary school children across all social cliques together.  It is called CWSB (cheerleaders without social borders).    “We live in another time.  Social cliques are starting as young as 7 years old these days,” Samuel Feranda, Lala’s PR manager says.  “Now the cheerleaders can hang out with the freaks, the artists.  They can even be artists themselves.”  Lala has decided to use her holiday to travel to American schools and implement this program in order to sprout social change where it is needed most.

Based on a Fact finds it suspicious that Lala denied these allegations and then immediately created CWSB.  Some sources infer that Lala is doing this out of guilt, while other die-hard fans could care less.  One fan, who chooses to remain anonymous, states, “It doesn’t matter what Lala did, just that it lead her to be the artist she is today.”  Based on a Fact would have to agree.

Based on a Fact