Lala steals the show, but Fred saves the day.

Lala made a short and unwelcome appearance yesterday at the annual “Perve Grandma Convention” where she was accused of stealing an art piece by special guest,

By Crossbitch

Fred Le Chevalier. The “Perve Grandma Convention” takes place in Paris to celebrate not just female sexuality, but elderly female sexuality.  “Just because we’re older, doesn’t mean we’ve lost our desire,” says Adrienne Marceau one of the events core coordinators.

Work by Duchasse Anne

These senior citizens join together every year to share their patchwork and hand-knit sweaters in order to raise awareness about the oppression of senior women’s sexuality.

Many thought Lala arrived to support the movement, but quickly realized she was up to no good.  Many guests stated she was visiting artists’ booths asking for ideas or inspiration.  Witnesses later saw Lala approach Jeannette Durand, an elderly woman that had just bought her 12^th Fred Le Chevalier piece.

Made by Crossbitch

Lala violently ripped the art piece from Jeannette Durand’s hands and made a run for the door.   She almost made an escape, but fortunately, Fred Le Chevalier came to the victim’s rescue by stopping Lala in her tracks.  He repossessed the art piece and returned it to its rightful owner.  “He’s my knight in shining armor,” Jeannette stated after the incident.

Jeanette Durand after Fred le Chevalier returned her art piece.

Many guests wanted to call the police and threatened to have Lala thrown in jail once and for all in order to stop her crimes against muses and fellow artists.  However, Fred and Jeanette have both decided not to press charges and Lala roams free, continuing to skulk dark alleyways and hidden galleries, looking for inspiration in all the wrong places.

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No Article: muses on strike

Based On a Fact apologizes for the absence of a Lala Drona article.  A quiet lull has taken over workshops everywhere as at 10 am on January 24th, muses have officially announced that they have gone on strike.  Due to harsh work conditions, low to no-pay and no artistic credit, muses have assembled to fight for visibility and rights within the artistic community.  Muses state that they cannot continue to be the “brains behind the operation” without proper compensation.  Throughout the ages, muses have been exploited for their work, and are currently looking to institutionalize their practices.  Pauline Devenport, a self-proclaimed muse, would like to start her own business, a company that provides inspirational services.  “We would provide “muse” services to companies and individuals.  This means protection and financial compensation for muses’ work.  But first, we have to unionize.”

Since rising up, muses have experienced quite the backlash.  Artists have said that inspiration does not have constraints, that it comes from everywhere.  Whether it be a tree, a sunrise or a conversation with someone.  Many say that the relationship between artist and muse is private and that institutionalizing the idea of the muse will limit artistic expression.   

One thing that this strike has illuminated is that artist and muse are not mutually exclusive.  Artistic activity everywhere is at a standstill while artists sit blankly in front of their projects without their muses.  Artists and muses are set to negotiate muse demands tomorrow afternoon in an online debate.  Whatever the outcome of the debate, an exciting future awaits the ever-changing art community, as muses obtain long-awaited visibility within the art sphere.              

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Neighbors Complain

On Tuesday morning, a noise complaint was reported to the local authorities in department 94, a section right outside of Paris.

Outside Lala’s Residence

The report described animal noises and frequent yelling coming from the inside of a typically inconspicuous studio apartment.  The confirmed neighbor of Lala Drona, Johan Sylvain, was the alleged rat to the 94 authorities.  “As a community we decided enough is enough,” Sylvain describes the disturbing behavior and lifestyle of his eccentric neighbor.  “It’s always disgusting outside her apartment.  Our community constantly smells like aerosol, and loud animal noises have been coming from the apartment.  She’s an absolute savage.”  Lala was suspected of participating in the recent Animal Activist Zoo jailbreak in Paris this last week, but she was cleared of all allegations.  Some neighbors have reported the animal noises to the zoo authorities while others suggest the noises reveal a much more provocative nightlife.

Due to Lala’s failure to keep a low profile, sources have finally confirmed Lala’s exact where-abouts.

Lala Ironing Clothes

Will this compromise her supposed projects in France?  Will she re-relocate?  Rumors from an unconfirmed source leak that Lala intends to attend l’Ecole National Supérieure des Beaux-Arts (The National Fine Arts School in Paris).  Fans begin to question if Lala is selling out to join the high society “bourgeois voltures” she always spoke out against.   Some suspect that Lala’s rumored application to the national art school to be an attempt to infiltrate the implied adversary.  We’re still fishing for stories in order to bring them to you first.  Keep up with our weekly scoop on Lala Drona, here on:

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