The Lala Laboratory

Since the muse crisis, quality undocumented muses have been hard to come by.  Lala continues to refuse documented muse services and is rumored to have had bad luck with recent undocumented musework.  In a drought of inspiration, what is an artist to do?

Lala has kicked off the construction of her new Laboratory called The Lala Lab.  Here, she hopes to create a workshop for visiting artists which includes lodging for both muses and artists in residence.  The laboratory will be sectioned into two parts: one side for the muses, and the other for artists.  Selected Drones will be invited for residency in the Drone Location Research Program.

Lala on phone complaining about the misspelling of her “Drone Location” sign.

“The Laboratory will be a space of research and creation, as well as experimentation,” states Pauline Sager, Lala’s new publicist.  Lala’s team has been wheeling and dealing donors left and right to get the project off the ground (its estimated cost to be well into the hundreds of thousands of euros).  So why is Lala pouring every last penny into a dangerously fruitless endeavor?

Liza Laurence, a journalist for the L.D. Times ran into Lala in the Paris subway last week.  “When I asked (Lala) what her next move would be, she said, ‘I’ve completely drained myself of my own ideas.  That’s why I have always stolen them from others.’  She wrote something down in a notebook and looked up. ‘My muse is gone, and he took my right brain with him.  Time to use the ideas stored on the left side.’”

The strange thing is, Lala seems to be denying muses and adopting artists.  In the past few months, she has been scouted by ZP Productions, and asked to do a series of collaboration pieces with another artist under the pseudonym Midnight 30.  ZP Productions (who is also helping finance the Lala Laboratory) is a company that links artists together in order to create unique series of art.  Hard at work, Lala is also co-writing a performance theater piece titled Art Show with friend Dean James Lovett who commented briefly on the collaboration.  “Lala and I are pretty much on the same track. We’ve just had a meeting, and there is serious potential.”

Is Lala teaming up with other artists in an attempt to overcome muse dependency?  If this is the case, she may be committing an age-old artistic faux pas.  Never use an artist as a muse.  There is an understanding in the community that one is either a muse or an artist, but never both.  Is Lala challenging this conception?  Or is she simply flailing, desperate to feed herself with stolen inspiration wherever she can find it?  Keep checking back to see what else this artist has got hiding up her sleeve.

Based on a Fact

Collin Gerald, 20 Student 

Neighbors Complain

On Tuesday morning, a noise complaint was reported to the local authorities in department 94, a section right outside of Paris.

Outside Lala’s Residence

The report described animal noises and frequent yelling coming from the inside of a typically inconspicuous studio apartment.  The confirmed neighbor of Lala Drona, Johan Sylvain, was the alleged rat to the 94 authorities.  “As a community we decided enough is enough,” Sylvain describes the disturbing behavior and lifestyle of his eccentric neighbor.  “It’s always disgusting outside her apartment.  Our community constantly smells like aerosol, and loud animal noises have been coming from the apartment.  She’s an absolute savage.”  Lala was suspected of participating in the recent Animal Activist Zoo jailbreak in Paris this last week, but she was cleared of all allegations.  Some neighbors have reported the animal noises to the zoo authorities while others suggest the noises reveal a much more provocative nightlife.

Due to Lala’s failure to keep a low profile, sources have finally confirmed Lala’s exact where-abouts.

Lala Ironing Clothes

Will this compromise her supposed projects in France?  Will she re-relocate?  Rumors from an unconfirmed source leak that Lala intends to attend l’Ecole National Supérieure des Beaux-Arts (The National Fine Arts School in Paris).  Fans begin to question if Lala is selling out to join the high society “bourgeois voltures” she always spoke out against.   Some suspect that Lala’s rumored application to the national art school to be an attempt to infiltrate the implied adversary.  We’re still fishing for stories in order to bring them to you first.  Keep up with our weekly scoop on Lala Drona, here on:

Based on a fact