Lala gives tour in her defense

To disprove media accusations of muse abuse, Lala invites the press for a personal tour of the Lala Laboratory (just in the first phases of construction).

The Lala Laboratory

Since the muse crisis, quality undocumented muses have been hard to come by.  Lala continues to refuse documented muse services and is rumored to have had bad luck with recent undocumented musework.  In a drought of inspiration, what is an artist to do?

Lala has kicked off the construction of her new Laboratory called The Lala Lab.  Here, she hopes to create a workshop for visiting artists which includes lodging for both muses and artists in residence.  The laboratory will be sectioned into two parts: one side for the muses, and the other for artists.  Selected Drones will be invited for residency in the Drone Location Research Program.

Lala on phone complaining about the misspelling of her “Drone Location” sign.

“The Laboratory will be a space of research and creation, as well as experimentation,” states Pauline Sager, Lala’s new publicist.  Lala’s team has been wheeling and dealing donors left and right to get the project off the ground (its estimated cost to be well into the hundreds of thousands of euros).  So why is Lala pouring every last penny into a dangerously fruitless endeavor?

Liza Laurence, a journalist for the L.D. Times ran into Lala in the Paris subway last week.  “When I asked (Lala) what her next move would be, she said, ‘I’ve completely drained myself of my own ideas.  That’s why I have always stolen them from others.’  She wrote something down in a notebook and looked up. ‘My muse is gone, and he took my right brain with him.  Time to use the ideas stored on the left side.’”

The strange thing is, Lala seems to be denying muses and adopting artists.  In the past few months, she has been scouted by ZP Productions, and asked to do a series of collaboration pieces with another artist under the pseudonym Midnight 30.  ZP Productions (who is also helping finance the Lala Laboratory) is a company that links artists together in order to create unique series of art.  Hard at work, Lala is also co-writing a performance theater piece titled Art Show with friend Dean James Lovett who commented briefly on the collaboration.  “Lala and I are pretty much on the same track. We’ve just had a meeting, and there is serious potential.”

Is Lala teaming up with other artists in an attempt to overcome muse dependency?  If this is the case, she may be committing an age-old artistic faux pas.  Never use an artist as a muse.  There is an understanding in the community that one is either a muse or an artist, but never both.  Is Lala challenging this conception?  Or is she simply flailing, desperate to feed herself with stolen inspiration wherever she can find it?  Keep checking back to see what else this artist has got hiding up her sleeve.

Based on a Fact

Collin Gerald, 20 Student