Lala Drives Out New Neighbor!

1 Apr

Reenactment: Lala spraying neighbor in the face.

Recently neighbors have been saying that Lala has become somewhat of a recluse.    We’ve seen time and time again that Lala will go at any lengths to protect her private life,  however on March 31st Lala commits an act that questions her overall mental stability.

Claire DuMont, Lala’s new neighbor, was moving into her home in the 94 when she realized she was short a few chairs for a house-warming party.  She knocked on her neighbor’s door to ask if they had any extra chairs when she received a very hostile welcome to the area.  “All I remember is a can of spray paint in my face,” she states in an interview with 94 reporters.  “If it weren’t for my glasses, I could be blind.  I ran into my apartment and called the 94 authorities.”

DuMont’s glasses after transparent paint bomb.

When Lala is questioned about the events, she seems a bit too blasé about the ordeal. When asked to replace DuMont’s glasses, she responds, “…She’s okay.  And it was transparent paint.”  Natalia Strak, Lala’s lawyer comes to her defense.  The official statement reading that Lala was defending herself from possible paparazzi attack.  That she had no intention of spraying any innocent person in the face.

Transparent Paint Evidence

Strak says that Lala will be let off with a slap on the wrist, but that the continued Lala calamity has revealed itself as a cry for help.  A public statement has been released stating Lala will be attending therapy sessions at Tableau Vierge, a rehabilitation center for artists sliding off their rocker.

Based on a fact by Kent Deloy

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