Lala Drona Caught Blue Handed

At 4am this morning, authorities in the 94 charged Lala Drona with vandalism.

Lala Drona caught “blue handed” in department 94.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lala, was caught blue-handed spray painting a stencil on the side of a building.  “It’s almost like she wanted to get caught.” Officer DuPont  describes how Lala stuck out like a sore thumb, sporting a bright pink beanie and yellow scarf over her mouth and nose when she was found.

Officer DuPont comments on the interesting placement of Lala’s tags, directly adjacent to preexisting graffiti images and messages.  “It’s unclear if Lala is challenging already declared graffiti territory, or supporting her fellow artist community.”  Residents in the 94 have noted a rise in vandal behavior since the arrival of Lala Drona.  Young artist groups, thinkers and bohemian-types alike, have seemed to coalesce overnight.  Small protests and demonstrations have hinted something larger to come for the 94, and Lala seems to be at the heart of it.

It is still unknown what these charges will mean for Lala Drona.  Sources say that this could mean expulsion from the country, but DuPont assures us that Lala will probably be let off with about 40 hours of community service.

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 “I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me, too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.”

-Frida Kahlo

Neighbors Complain

On Tuesday morning, a noise complaint was reported to the local authorities in department 94, a section right outside of Paris.

Outside Lala’s Residence

The report described animal noises and frequent yelling coming from the inside of a typically inconspicuous studio apartment.  The confirmed neighbor of Lala Drona, Johan Sylvain, was the alleged rat to the 94 authorities.  “As a community we decided enough is enough,” Sylvain describes the disturbing behavior and lifestyle of his eccentric neighbor.  “It’s always disgusting outside her apartment.  Our community constantly smells like aerosol, and loud animal noises have been coming from the apartment.  She’s an absolute savage.”  Lala was suspected of participating in the recent Animal Activist Zoo jailbreak in Paris this last week, but she was cleared of all allegations.  Some neighbors have reported the animal noises to the zoo authorities while others suggest the noises reveal a much more provocative nightlife.

Due to Lala’s failure to keep a low profile, sources have finally confirmed Lala’s exact where-abouts.

Lala Ironing Clothes

Will this compromise her supposed projects in France?  Will she re-relocate?  Rumors from an unconfirmed source leak that Lala intends to attend l’Ecole National Supérieure des Beaux-Arts (The National Fine Arts School in Paris).  Fans begin to question if Lala is selling out to join the high society “bourgeois voltures” she always spoke out against.   Some suspect that Lala’s rumored application to the national art school to be an attempt to infiltrate the implied adversary.  We’re still fishing for stories in order to bring them to you first.  Keep up with our weekly scoop on Lala Drona, here on:

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Lala’s response to loner behavior

Unidentified Thief

Lala’s reponse to why she’s always spotted alone in Paris:  “Why no friends yet?  I move around a lot, and I believe in quality, not quantity.  If you make one good friend every year, in 10 years, you’ll have 10 people who would do anything for you (and you, for them).  Networking, meeting as many people as can, reducing them to just a name in a database of people who can possibly do something for you one day…no.  I don’t take names and numbers unless I’m planning on spending time with you, to get to know YOU.  Networking, in that sense (and I see it a lot here), just really isn’t my style.” -Lala Drona

Lala Drona, spotted.

In the heart of Paris, rumors of Lala’s arrival have finally caught wind.  Varisha Pabati, an English teacher from India explains her run-in with Lala at the prefecture’s medical check-up in Creteil.  “I was sitting across from her in the waiting room

The 94

and I kept thinking, Is that her?  I asked her for a pen and started a conversation with her.”  Pabati describes their conversation as relaxed and very open.  “It was like we’d been friends forever!  And she’s even a vegan, just like me!”  However, when Pabati told her she looks very much like Lala Drona, Lala evaded the comment.  “She laughed and said, yeah, I get that all the time.  Then she winked and whispered, maybe I’m related to her, or maybe I am fleeing the U.S. to get away from it all.  She smiled really big and giggled again.”

Lala Drona spotted

 

Lala’s appearance at the prefecture seems to hint that she intends to stay in Paris for quite a while.  Only visa’s that last longer than 3 months require a medical examination.  “Most people there were students obtaining a student visa, which usually last for one year,”  Pabati explains.  Information about

the living whereabouts of Lala have also begun to leak.  Since Lala was at the medical appointment in Creteil, that could only mean that she is living in the 94, Val de Marne, a suburb right outside of Paris.

In central Paris, François Baggard had the opportunity to snap a

Lala Drona (left) in front of clock on the 5th floor of the Musée d’Orsay

few photos of Lala at the Musée d’Orsay.  She was reported to be on the fifth floor with an unidentified woman.  “They talked for about 30 minutes and then the woman left,” Baggard remembers.  “I have no idea, but from

the looks of it, the two looked quite comfortable together.  Still, as I watched the interaction from the beginning, it looked like they had just met for the first time.”  This raises many questions for the Drona fan base.  Some wondering what she is doing in Paris, if she knows anyone or has plans to continue her projects there.  Is she alone, and is she lonely?  Only finding comfort in chance conversation with strangers?  One thing that is sure is that fans keep a loyal grip on Lala, patiently waiting her next move.

 

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“Writing is a way to talk without being interrupted.”

-Jules RENARD